Monday, August 1, 2011

Humor, Part 1: Mensa Invitational?



The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new  definition.  

Here are the winners:  

1.    Cashtration (n.):  The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
 

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

 

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you  realize it was your money to start  with.

 

4. Reintarnation:  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

 

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 

 

6. Giraffiti:  Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 


7. SarchasmThe gulf  between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 
 

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
 
 

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

 

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is  sending off all these  really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 

 

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are  good for you.

 

12. Glibido:  All talk and no action. 

 

13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.  
 
 

14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.):  The frantic dance performed just after you've  accidentally walked through a spider web.

 

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan, in the form of a mosquito, gets into your  bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

 

16. Caterpallor ( n.):  The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Hat tip to Yolanda, who is a real-life Mensan. She makes no claim that any of these words really appeared in the Washington Post, but it makes a good story! 

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