Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Fun with Facial Hair

Why do men grow beards? Because they can! Give me two weeks out of uniform, and I will play with my facial hair. Maybe someday I will have worked my way through the catalog of beard and moustache styles. My Fall 2010 effort began with a little scruff for Ocean City Bike Week in mid September and ended with these Five Stages of Transformation in early October.

0.       The transformation start point was the short Box beard and moustache. Unlike the Philosopher, the whiskers in a Box are all the same length. In contrast to a Full beard, the Box has a clean neck and some trimming on the edges. I prefer the clean neck because otherwise my helmet chin strap pulls whiskers.


1.       The jaw-line Chin Curtain and moustache, aka the Donegal. Just cut the sides down from the cheek to the jaw-line, leaving the sideburns, moustache, and chin whiskers alone. I actually like this better than the Box, which surprised me, since I have a long face.


2.       The Goatee and moustache, aka the Doorknocker or the Circle beard. Shown here with long sideburns and a bit of a goatee extension.  Next time I will extend the extension.


3.       Horseshoe moustache and Soul Patch aka Flavor Saver. The Horseshoe aka Hulk Hogan is different from a Fu Manchu in that the latter has longer whiskers that hang down past the jaw. The Chin Strip is a longer version of the Soul Patch. I like the look even though it does not fit my personality too well.

Horseshoe + Soul Patch

4.       Toothbrush moustache, aka the aptly named Mouthbrow. While this moustache is acceptable in the military, it does not look particularly good on me. What Charlie Chaplin made famous, Hitler made infamous. Some guys really labor over their moustache. Think of the John Waters pencil, the Wilford Brimley walrus, or the Salvador Dali spiked handlebar. I don’t know that I would ever want to go to that much trouble, but to each his own.  For me, facial hair is about fun and freedom. Life can be tedious enough without adding to the tedium, right?

5.       Back to “normal.” Now I need a haircut and then it’s back to the salt mines for me, until next time! 


Speaking of next time, I didn’t realize how the lighting over my bathroom sink would give everything a yellow wash. Next time I will find some better lighting. And maybe some Grecian Formula?

For names and descriptions of beard styles, I referred mainly to the Beard Style Guide at