My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim." --Paula Poundstone
Reframing what happens to us can be a healthy way to survive terrible things, or it can become a veil of denial that keeps us from moving on.Often, we simply have to trust that we will see the truth of things when we are strong enough and ready. --Mark Nepo
Nepo, M. (2000). The book of awakening: Having the life you want by being present to the life you have, pg. 350. San Francisco, CA: Conari Press.
Nepo talks about "moving"/"moving on". I think we do need to take some active part toward seeing the truth of things (although I'm not sure there's always an absolute truth to be found). Otherwise, it is possible we may miss a chance to become stronger and more ready because we don't challenge ourselves (not denial, exactly, more like staying with what we think we know).
ReplyDeleteReframing can be that "moving on", part of change (and change can be scary) on our own behalf. Just don't reframe into something that is more inaccurate than accurate. It's so easy to kid ourselves/lie to ourselves - especially when it is much more comfortable/easy that way!
Nepo's got a good point on trusting, too: there are times when action can be pointless, ill-conceived, and trust really is what's needed. The hardest part is knowing which is which: time to wait, or time to act? Perhaps reframing can help us find which it is??
As I've said in the past, and it's not my original thought, one never knows how strong one is until being strong is the only choice... Been there; found that to be the case more often than not.