Humor, Part 1: Mensa Invitational?

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new  definition.  

Here are the winners:  

1.    Cashtration (n.):  The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
 
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
 
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you  realize it was your money to start  with.
 
4. Reintarnation:  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
 
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 
 
6. Giraffiti:  Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 

7. Sarchasm: The gulf  between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 
 
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 
 
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
 
10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is  sending off all these  really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 
 
11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are  good for you.
 
12. Glibido:  All talk and no action. 
 
13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.   
 
14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.):  The frantic dance performed just after you've  accidentally walked through a spider web.
 
15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan, in the form of a mosquito, gets into your  bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
 
16. Caterpallor ( n.):  The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Hat tip to Yolanda, who is a real-life Mensan. She makes no claim that any of these words really appeared in the Washington Post, but it makes a good story!