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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Is Happiness a Skill?


What do we mean by the term, Happiness?

Happiness is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. --Wordnet 3.0

Is happiness a state of being? If so, then we can be happy on a sliding scale in response to our situation. Happiness might range from severe depression on the lowest end of the scale to intense joy on the highest end. This scale would reflect an ex-post facto state of being. Someone might ask, "How would you rate your Happiness on a scale of -10 (depressed)  to 10 (ecstatic)?" After thinking a moment, you might say, "I'm about a 7."

Is happiness something we recognize as after the fact, as a product of our general disposition and the circumstances we find ourselves in? Do changes in our environment bring about different levels of happiness? Probably so. But then, this begs the questions: why do different people feel different levels of happiness in similar situations? And why do some people recover from bad situations more quickly?

Happiness seems to be unique to each individual, since the same situation may produce different levels of happiness in different people. There is a theory about something called a personal Happiness Set Point which may account for some of the difference. This set point is a measure of a person's general disposition which is unique for each person. The evidence for set point theory comes from wounded warriors who achieve restored happiness in life after surviving traumatic injuries. People who were generally happier before they were injured became just as happy again after they heal. Meanwhile, people who were unhappy before similar injuries also returned to their set point before the injury. This suggests that severe injury is not the cause of a change in a person's happiness.

But what if happiness is only temporarily effected by the situation in which we find ourselves? How do some people achieve faster recoveries? People talk about "deciding" to be happy as a way of coping with unfortunate circumstances. Is happiness a choice? If so, then if we are unhappy, does that mean we lack judgement to choose what's best?  I do not think so. "Choose Happiness" seems a simplistic prescription. Unhappiness and depression are not merely bad choices. There is something that a person can do, in addition to natural gifts like the set point, to recover from sadness and maintain happiness. What is it that a person can do beyond choosing to be happy?

I am beginning to think of happiness as a skill instead of a state. Happiness was defined before as a "mental state of well-being" but the question is, how do we achieve such a state? It's not enough to be blessed with a high Happiness Set Point, though that is a good thing. It's not enough to choose happiness, though that is a good thing, too. To be consistently happy, and to recover from setbacks faster, seems to take these skills:

  • Self-awareness to recognize and acknowledge, not dodge, physical or emotional pain. 
  • Living in the moment to deal with the pain fully, and then let it pass. 
  • Consciously choosing to recover instead of ruminating or lingering on the past painful circumstances.
  • Discipline to focus on the positive.
  • Ability to think thoughts, feel feelings, and do things that bring about healing and happiness.

I am not talking about taking a happiness pill. I am not talking about being not sad or merely avoiding pain. I am talking about being genuinely happy. We must allow ourselves to fully feel our pain if we are ever to let it go and know true joy.

Happiness is a skill.

 

1 comment:

  1. I do believe that happiness is a skill too. It is very easy to make excuses for not being happy. It is a given that life is not perfect and crap happens (a lot), but it is all in how you choose to deal with it. One must count their blessings big and small, secondly.

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