Thursday, October 29, 2015

Top Brewery Road Trip, Routed Algorithmically


"This is now on my bucket list."



Comes now a new Road Trip story, this one via Nathan Yau and his fantastic work on Flowing Data.

Well, let's see: I love beer and brewers and breweries, I love road trips, and I love Nathan's Flowing Data site. Triple win!

I would like to see a similar map for a bicycling tour of Belgium.

Actually, I would also love to see a similar map for the top 70 breweries within 100 miles of the US Capitol Building.


H/T: SN

Monday, October 26, 2015

RIP Radio Legend Ed Walker

Hall of Fame Broadcaster Ed Walker
 April 23, 1932 – October 26, 2015


I've been enjoying Ed Walker's nostalgic Sunday evening radio show since moving to the DC area in 2000. For 15 years, The Big Broadcast was appointment radio for me. I loved the show because it offered a glimpse into family life during a simpler time when radio was the main source of entertainment--the '30s, '40s, and '50s. When I was young in the '60s, TV was already popular. I remember watching Gunsmoke, Dragnet, and the Lone Ranger on TV with my family the way my parents and grandparents had probably listened to Fibber McGee and Molly or the Jack Benny Show. Through The Big Broadcast, I came to appreciate that the lineage of the shows we watched in the '60s went back to popular radio broadcasts long before the television era.

Despite Mr. Walker's status as revered co-founder of WAMU-FM and long-time host of his popular Sunday evening show, I really did not know much about the man himself until he decided to retire earlier this month. At the age of 83, Mr. Walker received a cancer diagnosis. He announced his decision to retire so he could focus on his health, and people in the listening audience and the wider WAMU community responded with news and stories commemorating his accomplishments and his character. That is when I began learning more about Mr. Walker. For example, I learned something that listeners of radio would have no way of knowing--that Mr. Walker was born blind. He was the first blind student accepted at American University.

His friend and fellow WAMU broadcaster, Ray Bamberger, guest-hosted Ed's show on October 18th, the first Sunday after Ed stepped down. Ray also announced that he would continue guest-hosting until a full-time host for The Big Broadcast was chosen. Meanwhile, Ed's family encouraged Mr. Walker to record one final broadcast. The report I read indicated that he really did not want to, as he felt weak and his voice was raspy. But his family convinced him to put together one final show. At the time, they probably did not realize that this final show would literally be Mr. Walker's Swan Song.

Recorded in his hospital room. the final show was different from previous shows. Rather than try to play what his audience wanted to hear, Ed set out to play his personal favorites. As you listen to the show, you can hear his raspy voice, a little quieter than usual, but his thoughts, insights, and recollections are every bit as colorful and lively as ever. Rather than simply airing the next episode in the Johnny Dollar series, Ed played his favorite episode. There were Christmas-themed shows, not because the season was right but because the content touched his heart. The sadness as he bade farewell was palpable.

The final broadcast aired on Sunday, Oct 25th, from 7 to 11 p.m. Surrounded by his family, Ed listened to the broadcast in his hospital room. You can listen to the broadcast by following this LINK. We learned today the sad and poignant news that within a few hours of hearing his signature sign-off, Ed Walker slipped into a deep and permanent sleep.

        What a bittersweet story...

              Rest in peace, Ed Walker.


Ed Walker (April 23, 1932 – October 26, 2015) was a Washington, D.C., radio personality. He hosted a weekly four-hour Sunday night program, The Big Broadcast, on WAMU-FM, featuring vintage radio programs from the 1930s to 1950s, such as Gunsmoke,The Jack Benny ShowThe Lone RangerFibber McGee and Molly, and Superman. Walker began hosting The Big Broadcast in 1990 when his friend John Hickman discontinued hosting due to illness; the show, which started in 1964 as Recollections, has been the longest running program on WAMU. The show ranks first in its time slot, and its audience is "remarkably young for a public radio crowd."


Sunday, October 25, 2015

My Daughter the Squire


Walter Fitzgerald as Squire Trelawney in the 1950 Disney adaptation of 
Robert Louis Stevenson's classic pirate tale, Treasure Island
As you may recall, Robert Louis Stevenson wrote a catchy little novel by the name of Treasure Island. Here is a synopsis:


"Treasure Island is the story of Jim Hawkins, a young boy who befriends Billy Bones, a dying pirate staying at his mother's Inn. When Bones passes, he leaves Jim a map to the hidden treasure of the deceased pirate Captain Flint. Jim brings the map to Squire Trelawney, a local nobleman, and Dr. Livesy, a physician who had been attending to Billy Bones. The group decides to hire a ship and crew to set off in search of Flint's treasure.
"Trelawney makes the unfortunate decision to hire one Long John Silver as the ship's cook, a man who also turns out to be Flint's former quartermaster - a pirate with an agenda of his own. Silver manages to get several other former members of Flint's crew onto the ship as well, and once the group arrives at Treasure Island, a battle begins over who will get the treasure."

The character of Squire Trelawney has been played in film adaptations by Nigel Bruce (1934), Walter Fitzgerald (1950), Walter Slezak (1972), Richard Johnson (1990) and Fozzie Bear in Muppet Treasure Island (1996). Now coming to the stage, the latest in a long line of nobles, my daughter Madeline as Squire Trelawney!


Oakton High School Theatre Arts presents: 


Treasure Island - November 12, 13, 14

Based on the masterful adventure novel by Robert Louis Stevenson, Treasure Island is a stunning yarn of piracy on the tropical seas. It begins at an inn on the Devon coast of England in 1775 and quickly becomes an unforgettable tale of treachery and mayhem featuring a host of legendary swashbucklers including the dangerous Billy Bones, the sinister two-timing Israel Hands, the brassy woman pirate Anne Bonney, and the hideous form of evil incarnate, Blind Pew. At the center of it all are Jim Hawkins, a 14-year-old boy who longs for adventure, and the infamous Long John Silver, who is a complex study of good and evil, perhaps the most famous hero-villain of all time. Silver is an unscrupulous buccaneer-rogue whose greedy quest for gold, coupled with his affection for Jim, cannot help but win the heart of every soul who has ever longed for romance, treasure and adventure.


I can hardly wait!

Related post: DIY Papier Mache Theater Masks

L.I.N.K.S. #13: Nick Sousanis' Graphic Novel on Thinking Through Images

The first comic book dissertation has been approved, and I am smitten. I dedicate this thirteenth edition of L.I.N.K.S. to this fascinating exploration of words and images.


The cover of the book that grew out of Sousanis' doctoral dissertation

Doctoral Dissertation in Graphic Novel Form by Cory Doctorow

"Columbia University awarded a doctorate in education to Nick Sousanis for Unflattening, a graphic novel about the relationship between words and pictures in literature. ...It was published by Harvard University Press.

"The primacy of words over images has deep roots in Western culture. But what if the two are inextricably linked, equal partners in meaning-making? Written and drawn entirely as comics, Unflattening is an experiment in visual thinking. Nick Sousanis defies conventional forms of scholarly discourse to offer readers both a stunning work of graphic art and a serious inquiry into the ways humans construct knowledge."


An excerpt from Unflattening


Book review by Harvard University Press

"Written and drawn entirely as comics, Unflattening is an experiment in visual thinking. Nick Sousanis defies conventional forms of scholarly discourse to offer readers both a stunning work of graphic art and a serious inquiry into the ways humans construct knowledge.

"Unflattening is an insurrection against the fixed viewpoint. Weaving together diverse ways of seeing drawn from science, philosophy, art, literature, and mythology, it uses the collage-like capacity of comics to show that perception is always an active process of incorporating and reevaluating different vantage points. While its vibrant, constantly morphing images occasionally serve as illustrations of text, they more often connect in nonlinear fashion to other visual references throughout the book. They become allusions, allegories, and motifs, pitting realism against abstraction and making us aware that more meets the eye than is presented on the page.

"In its graphic innovations and restless shape-shifting, Unflattening is meant to counteract the type of narrow, rigid thinking that Sousanis calls “flatness.” Just as the two-dimensional inhabitants of Edwin A. Abbott’s novella Flatland could not fathom the concept of “upwards,” Sousanis says, we are often unable to see past the boundaries of our current frame of mind. Fusing words and images to produce new forms of knowledge, Unflattening teaches us how to access modes of understanding beyond what we normally apprehend."

Seeing again, for the first time


Artist Nick Sousanis on the Power of Visuals: Comics on Learning Creativity by Blogtalk Radio

"We'll explore what happens when we bring more visual images and visual thinking -- including comics -- into teaching, learning and creativity. Our guest is comics artist and educator Nick Sousanis, who received a doctorate in education from Teachers College, Columbia University, where he wrote and drew his dissertation entirely in comic book form. His dissertation has been published as the book, Unflattening."

An excerpt from Unflattening


Thinking Through Images: An Interview with Nick Sousanis by The Paris Review

"Everything about Unflattening is odd, from its ungainly title and unfashionable subject matter (Rudolf Arnheim art theory meets Herbert Marcuse radicalism meets Scott McCloud comics boosterism) to its provenance: Nick Sousanis initially wrote and drew this full-length comics essay as his graduate-school dissertation. (He was earning his doctorate in education at Teachers College Columbia University, studying under the philosopher and social activist Maxine Greene.)

"Sousanis’s career might be considered a little odd, too. He followed up an undergraduate degree in mathematics with a brief stint as a professional tennis player, then cofounded and edited a cultural magazine in Detroit, while also working as an artist. This isn’t the typical career path for a cartoonist—though to be fair, that profession doesn’t provide many followable emblematic models in that regard. Wild enthusiasm and plunge-taking fearlessness aside, Sousanis seems like a solid citizen; while his ideas are radically utopian, their flavor is resolutely wholesome. He is reminiscent of the kind of small-town high school teacher who’s popular with students because they believe he tells the truth and is unafraid to veer away from the curriculum-assigned script."


An excerpt from Unflattening



One Giant Leap: A Review of Unflattening by Matt Finch

"Nick Sousanis’ Unflattening is a thesis-as-comic developed from the author’s doctoral dissertation for Teachers College Columbia University. Sousanis argues that images are not subordinate to words, but equal partners in the articulation of thought, and that sequential art is a vital scholarly alternative to either visual or verbal communication alone.

"Over eight chapters, Unflattening follows an anonymous, sleepwalking figure as they step out of a regimented life and take flight to explore new worlds. Sousanis draws the imagery of these worlds from TV, movies, the classical canon of art, and scientific diagrams. Unflattening embraces visual references from Paleolithic cave prints to James Bond films, and verbal ones from Bruno Latour to Wallace Stevens. The protagonist bears at one time Hermes’ sandals and at others wings of its own; it is incarnated as a Pinocchio-like puppet confounded by a centipede’s existential challenge, ‘Who are you?’, before finally being reborn as a child reminiscent of Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). The comic’s final image is of that newborn’s eye opening to see the world as if for the first time.

"In the course of this journey, Sousanis dethrones the primacy of the word in a kind of Copernican revolution. He argues that image is not mere illustration, subordinate to words, but an equal partner and component in thinking. He explores stereoscopic vision and the principles of astronomical observation as metaphors in order to define ‘unflattening’ as ‘a simultaneous engagement of multiple vantage points from which to engender new ways of seeing.’ (Sousanis 2015: 32)."



Notes:

1. L.I.N.K.S. is a recurring feature here on PhilosFX in which we provide links to subjects that are sure to Lure, Intrigue, Nurture, and Kindle readers. 

2. The APA citation for the book featured in today's edition of L.I.N.K.S. is Sousanis, N . (2015). Unflattening. Cambridge: Harvard University Press.

3. h/t: Prof PTJ

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Opinions and Perspectives



The great Roman soldier and orator Marcus Aurelius (born 121, died 180) has left us with an enduring pearl of wisdom which deserves widest possible dissemination.

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."

The sketch above illustrates the reality of this wisdom. Both people are reporting what they see, but which one of them is "right"? And what does it matter?
In our quest for certainty and reliability in turbulent times, we forget that life itself is a teeming sea of opinions and perspectives and desperate best guesses. Though it is often difficult, let us take a breath and consider that someone else's opinions and perspectives may be equally valid. 
Uncertainty does not necessarily make us less safe. We must all continue the struggle of life. In fact, too much surety about our situation may actually be counter-productive. The ability to tolerate uncertainty makes us more resilient.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

"The Good Life" in Nebraska: Celebrating an Example

Todd Joseph Doane
"The Good Life"
Feb 16, 1963 - Dec 6, 2014

Life is a mystery! How is it possible that we should be allowed to inhabit human form for even a brief moment? Life is indeed precious and all too short. Those of us who yet remain must count each day a blessing and give thanks to those who have gone before. We are obviously indebted to our ancestors--we are a product of their choices. My brother Todd was a proud Son of Nebraska. Throughout his life he continually paid respect to those who had gone on before. And so it was natural for him to express his love of family by asking to have a portion of his ashes laid to rest among many of his ancestors in a family cemetery in Custer County, Nebraska. This is the story of our attempt to honor my brother's wishes and celebrate "The Good Life."

Map of Nebraska and surrounding states with Custer County highlighted

Nebraska's motto is "The Good Life." That slogan means different things to different people, but I suppose one common denominator would be the connection Nebraskans feel to the very land beneath their feet. Besides its people, the land itself is Nebraska's greatest asset. Varied geographical features reflect the surrounding states. Southern Nebraska is as flat as is its neighbor to the south. Eastern Nebraska is as fertile as its neighbor to the east. The topography of western Nebraska includes the bluffs and foothills that lead to the Rockies. Northern Nebraska is all about the badlands that it shares with its neighbor to the north. Central Nebraska is a mix of rolling hills, streams and rivers, and land that is well-suited for raising crops and grazing livestock. In 1862, President Abraham Lincoln offered 160 acres to any head of household who had never taken up arms against the United States and who was willing to live on the land for at least 5 years.

My brother Todd was born in the great state of Nebraska, six generations removed from the sod-busting, corn-husking, "bug-eating" pioneers who settled Custer County over 150 years ago. He graduated from Norfolk High School with the class of 1981. He went to college in Kansas and settled in Texas to start his career and family. As his time on earth drew to a close, his heart remained with his family: this included the family he made with Vanessa, the family he joined with the Phi Delta Theta fraternity, and the family of his birth and lineage.

We recognized each of these families in three separate services that each celebrated Todd's life in slightly different ways. There was a memorial service in Dallas in December for family, neighbors, and friends. There was a scattering of ashes at Marble Falls in June with the fraternity brothers. For the third service, we returned to the land of Todd's birth. Todd requested to physically rejoin generations of fore-bearers in a family plot in the corner of the Ansley cemetery, once part of the original Eggleston homestead.

Detail of Custer County showing the locations of Eggleston and Doane homesteads

Not only was Todd a native Nebraskan, but our parents were born and raised on family farms only seven miles apart from each other as the crow flies. Our mother's great-great grandfather migrated from Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire, England via Wisconsin in 1862 with the Homestead Act and settled the town of Ansley. A couple generations later, our father's grandfather migrated--also from Wisconsin--to nearby Mason City, Nebraska. As it happens, the first Doanes in America arrived in about 1629 and, with four other families, settled the town of Eastham, Massachusetts. Todd's paternal ancestors moved from Massachusetts to Pennsylvania to Wisconsin and on to discover "The Good Life" on a 160-acre homestead in Nebraska.

Todd was in the 11th generation of Doanes in America and, via the Eggleston clan, was a 6th generation Nebraskan. These were facts about which he was justifiably proud. Few people in this turbulent modern world can claim such deep roots.

Todd had many accomplishments as a graphic artist. Among his achievements, Todd won a 2010 design competition for the Doane Family Association of America's logo.

Todd's winning design for the DFA logo is a tribute to his talent--and his love of family

In November, 2012, Todd was diagnosed with cancer--a grade IV glioblastoma multiforme tumor in his brain. Todd's brave battle with brain cancer and the tremendous outpouring of support that he garnered through his Caring Bridge site have been described elsewhere in the pages of PhilosFX. Please search for "Todd" and review the previous posts. A few selected posts are offered for your convenience.
The common theme to many comments people shared about Todd on his CaringBridge site and at each of the memorial services was Todd's sterling example of love and faith. Todd was so brave and so selfless. He tried every imaginable treatment option in his battle. Ever the compliant patient, he showed discipline for the rigors of chemotherapy and radiation therapy. He continually affirmed his priories: faith and family. Through it all, he maintained his signature sense of humor and positive outlook. His example of love and grace touched many lives. Three memorial services cannot express the love that is reflected in many fond memories.

In accordance with his wishes, Todd's family made arrangements for his inurnment. On Saturday, September 26th, 2015, the church where my parents were married served as the meeting place for a service of celebration and remembrance.

In remembrance...

Then after a short ride from the church to the town cemetery, friends and family in attendance were able to see the beautiful family heritage stone Todd's parents designed. They commissioned a nearby monument maker to produce the beautiful stone.

The Family Heritage Stone is adjacent to James Ferdinand Eggleston's grave
The Family Heritage Stone sits adjacent to the final resting place of our progenitor, James Ferdinand Eggleston--the man who was born in England and migrated to America for a chance at "The Good Life" in Nebraska.


The front side of the Family Heritage Stone
The front side of the Family Heritage Stone features Todd's design for the Doane Family Association of America's logo.


The back side of the stone lists the vital information for Todd, his parents, and his siblings

There is obviously room in the plot for other members of the family, should they choose to be inurned there with Todd. Regardless, the shiny black stone shines like a mirror. Looking at the stone we see ourselves--a portrait of mortality. For me, personally, seeing not just my name but also my birthday followed by a dash and then a blank space, the message is even more plain. Someday that blank space will be carved with the date that I left this mortal coil. The stone reminds us that we will all be remembered by what we do in the space between the date on the left and the date on the right. Our whole life is "the dash" between those dates of birth and death.  Todd can be very proud of the things we all said about him when we recalled his dash.

Some additional photos show the headstones of Todd's ancestors that fill the northeast corner of the community cemetery--the corner nearest to the Eggleston homestead.

A view of the marker for James Ferdinand Eggleston

Todd's mother's father's parents, Adaline and Garfield Eggleston

Todd's mother's parents, Donna and Clarence Eggleston

A moment of reflection at the family plot. Todd's son Alex is flanked by uncles Dave and Kyle. (photo: C. Edward Eggleston)

Todd said he would be "comfortable with the people in this neighborhood."  (photo: C. Edward Eggleston)
Todd, his bride Vanessa, and their son Alex (photo: Leslie Kadane)
Todd Doane lived "The Good Life" 
and was an example to us all. 
We love you, brother
and miss you. 

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

A 13,235-Mile Road Trip for 70-Degree Weather Every Day

Temperature Tour: Use Latitude as a Thermostat

This year-long journey across the U.S. keeps you at consistently comfortable temperatures.

Read More:
http://www.citylab.com/weather/2015/10/a-13235-mile-road-trip-for-70-degree-weather-every-day/411406/

Sunday, October 18, 2015

More On Neologisms

I love word play! Puns, spoonerisms, double entendres, portmanteaux, paraprosdokian sentencesredundant acronym syndrome acronyms, and humorous neologisms are bound to delight me. Results may vary...

Inspired by the viral list of neologisms you've undoubtedly seen, I published a collection of 100 pretty good examples. And then, before the ink was even dry, I set out to offer a little more on (moron) this type of humor.


ne·ol·o·gism

  (nē-ŏl′ə-jĭz′əm)
n.
1. new word, expression, or usage.
2. The creation or use of new words or senses.


You know that list of 14 funny neologisms which just showed up in your Facebook newsfeed (or possibly in your email inbox if you are over 50 years old)? The one that starts with "Coffee: the person upon whom one coughs"? These are great neologisms, but (a) they are not new and (b) they are not the product of something called the Mensa Invitational!

As a subscriber of the Washington Post, a decades-long fan of WaPo's weekly Style Invitational feature (including annual neologism contests), and a lapsed Mensan, I feel a certain compulsion to point out that this list has been circulating for years. It is not new, though occasionally someone will modify the content with an updated year (the 2008 list was relabeled as the 2009 list, for example). The annual results are often repeated on other websites, such as TheAdultGamer.com with attribution to WaPo, but for some reason a version incorrectly attributed to Mensa is persistently making the rounds.

Points to ponder:
  • Neologisms are real, naturally occurring features of a living language 
  • The annual Washington Post Style Invitational contest invites readers to come up with especially creative forms of neologisms. 
  • Each year, the Style Invitational contest has some sort of twist to the rules, e.g., change the word by one letter, or move the first letter to the end of the word, or spell the word in reverse order.
  • People like and tend to combine and recirculate the lists
  • Possibly as an homage to the cleverness of Style Invitational contestants, one popular version of the list has been mistakenly attributed to Mensa, the high IQ society
  • After a neologism becomes accepted into mainstream language it is no longer a "new word" 

If you are interested in researching the history of various lists in circulation, please examine the following links:

If you are interested in enjoying a list of 100 neologisms, and perhaps sharing some of your own, feast your eyes on this alphabetical list collected from various sources.



What happens when a newly created word moves beyond the humor category and enters the formal lexicon? The following neologisms have been formally accepted into mainstream language, as evidenced by appearing in a respectable dictionary. As a result, they can no longer be classified as neologisms.
  • D'oh!: An exclamation meaning damn (usually after a mistake by the speaker).
  • Wicked: Good or cool.
  • Google: To look up information on the Internet.

Here are 19 more former neologisms invented by famous writers
  • Banana republic
  • Beatnik
  • Cyberspace
  • Freelance
  • Hard-Boiled
  • Butterfingers
  • Chortle
  • Doormat
  • Factoid
  • Feminist
  • Gremlin
  • Meme
  • Nerd
  • Oxbridge
  • Pedestrian
  • Scientist
  • Workaholic
  • Twitter
  • Yahoo


And here are 12 brand names or words created especially for advertising or PR campaigns that are now used generically.
  • Aspirin
  • Hoover
  • Laundromat
  • Band-aid
  • Kleenex
  • Frisbee
  • Tipex
  • Xerox
  • Tupperware
  • Escalator
  • Granola
  • Zipper
My final contribution to this post offering more on neologisms is a mention of the Urban Dictionary, a crowd-sourced compendium of often humorous, occasionally scandalous new words and slang. 

A living language evolves. 

100 Funny Neologisms

Some of these are tied to very specific cultural references. I made no effort to rank or cull these, since the value of each depends on you, the reader. If I missed some, feel free to add your favorites in the comments! 

1. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message 404 Not Found, meaning that the requested document could not be located.

2. Abdicate: to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

3. Acme: a generic skin disease.

4. Adulatery: cheating on one's wife with a much younger woman who holds you in awe.

5. Antifun gal: a prude.

6. App: Software application for a smartphone or tablet computer.

7. Auto-da-feh: the extermination of heretics via drowning in a vat of pus.

8. Balderdash: a rapidly receding hairline.

9. BFF: Stands for best friends forever. Used to state how close you are to another individual.

10. Brangelina: used to refer to supercouple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

11. Burglesque: a poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate)

12. Chilax: To calm down or relax, it is a slang term used when someone is starting to get uptight about something that is happening.

13. Circumvent: an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

14. Coffee: the person upon whom one coughs.

15. Coiterie: a very, very close-knit group.

16. Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers.

17. Crapacity: The size of one's attic.

18. Crowdsourcing: The activity of getting a large group of people to contribute resource to project, especially by using a website where people can make contributions.

19. Defrigerator: Start saving energy now with this special offer from Pepco!

20. Deifenestration: to throw all talk of God out the window.

21. DIOS: the one true operating system.

22. Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.

23. Dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

24. Ego surfer: A person who boosts his ego by searching for his own name on Google and other search engines.

25. Elepants: too-tight jeans on broad-beamed people.

26. Emasculathe: a tool for castration.

27. Epigramp: A maxim that brands the speaker as an old codger. “If God had wanted women to wear pants . . .”

28. Errudition: Comical misuse of big words. “Madam, your dress looks positively superfluous on you tonight,” he said with amazing errudition.

29. Eruditz: A philosophy professor who can’t figure out how to work the copying machine.

30. Esplanade: to attempt an explanation while drunk.

31. Eunouch: the pain of castration.

32. Flabbergasted: appalled over how much weight you have gained.

33. Flatulance: emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

34. Foreploy: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.

35. Fortissimoe: the musical moment produced when someone serially slaps the faces of the first-violin section.

36. Frisbeetarianism: The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

37. Gargoyle: olive-flavored mouthwash.

38. Genitaliar: an image-enhancing object that can be carried in a man's front pocket.

39. Geobragging: Repeated status updates noting your location in an attempt to get attention or make other people jealous.

40. Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high, such as the famous "Surrender Dorothy" on the Beltway overpass.

41. Glibido: all talk and no action.

42. Goodzilla: a giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on them.

43. Guillozine: a magazine for executioners.

44. Guiltar: A musical instrument whose strings are pulled by your mother.

45. Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham Palace.

46. Hindprint: indentation made by a couch potato.

47. Hipatitis: terminal coolness.

48. Hozone: the area around 14th Street.

49. Impotience: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription.

50. Inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

51. Intaxication: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

52. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

53. Lollapalooka: someone who has taken one too many turns in the mosh pit.

54. Lymph: to walk with a lisp.

55. Metrosexual: A heterosexual man who likes the interests traditionally associated with women or homosexual men (e.g., shopping, fashion, his appearance) .

56. Mitthead – An individual who constantly changes his political positions to suit his audience and objectives,”

57. Moon-basing – The act of a candidate or surrogate offhandedly proposing a policy so outrageous that it significantly harms the candidate’s electability.

58. Muffin top: This refers to the (often unsightly) roll of fat that appears on top of trousers that feature a low waist.

59. Nazigator: an overbearing member of your carpool.

60. Necronancy: communication with the late Ernie Bushmiller.

61. Negligent: describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

62. Newtspaper: the Washington Times.

63. Noob: Someone who is new to an online community or game.

64. Osteopornosis: a degenerate disease.

65. Oyster: a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

66. Pectacles: gladiator movies.

67. Percycution: Giving your child a name he will hate for the rest of his life.

68. Pokemon: a Rastafarian proctologist.

69. Quartersack: On the Redskins, it's the player who lines up behind the center and takes the snap.

70. Racne: Acne located on a woman’s chest.

71. Rectitude: the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

72. Refiance: To replace your subprime boyfriend when your interest starts to vary.

73. Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly.

74. Republican’ts – The 49 percent of Republicans who, in a recent survey, were unable to explain the meaning of their party’s initials “GOP.

75. Rickwad – An individual who claims to be a devout Christian but supports policies that indicate otherwise.

76. Rococoa: Haute chocolate

77. Santorum – We'll let you look that one up for yourself.

78. Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.

79. Sata: a mythical being who brings toys to bad children.

80. Skilljoy: The would-be friend who’s a bit better than you at everything.

81. Socceur: the proper spelling of the sport for the next four years, alas.

82. Spam: Flooding the Internet with many copies of the same message, in an attempt to force the message on people who would not otherwise choose to receive it.

83. Sparadigm: A model panhandler.

84. Staycation: A vacation at home or near home (usually due to financial constraints preventing a holiday abroad).

85. Stitch 'n' bitch: A gathering of individuals who chat or gossip while knitting or crocheting.

86. Stupfather: Woody Allen.

87. Suckotash: a dish consisting of corn, lima beans and tofu.

88. Synapple: a perfect beverage to accompany brain food.

89. Taterfamilias: the head of the Potato Head family.

90. Tatyr: a lecherous Mr. Potato Head.

91. Tebowing: description of a prayerful victory stance derived from NFL quarterback Tim Tebow.

92. Testicle: a humorous question on an exam.

93. Thripp: a bug.

94. Transvestheight: The difference between the jockstrap and the bra.

95. Troll: An individual who posts inflammatory, rude, and obnoxious comments to an online community.

96. Tweet cred: social standing on Twitter.

97. Unappalin’ – Adjective used to describe a person with a combination of physical attractiveness, ruthless ambition and limited mental capacity.

98. Vagjayjay: Slang term for the vagina that was believed to have been coined by Oprah.

99. Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room.

100. Whitetater: a political hot potato.

101. Willy-nilly: impotent.

102. Writer's tramp: a woman who practices poetic licentiousness.

103. And, Lust: an unseemly craving for this [final] position in the [Style Invitational] column. [Note, the Style Invitational editor usually publishes a groaner of an entry at the end of each list.]




Friday, October 16, 2015

Notre Dame Fighting Irish versus Southern California Trojans



Notre Dame vs USC
Saturday, October 17, 7:30 PM on NBC
Notre Dame Stadium, Notre Dame, Indiana


The USC Trojans (3- 2) travel to #14 Notre Dame Fighting Irish (5-1) for the 87th meeting between these two teams in what many consider to be the most tradition-rich match-up in all of college football. And I, for one, am excited to watch. I want to see the 46th emerald-studded shamrock added to the Jeweled Shillelagh!

"Notre Dame and USC have traditionally been counted among the elite programs in college football, with each school having won 11 national championships and 7 Heisman Trophies. This football rivalry, which began in 1926, is considered one of the most important in college football, and is often called the greatest intersectional rivalry in college football." --Wikipedia


Go, IRISH! 
Beat Trojans!